Don’t act like the dog who, holding a bone in his mouth, looks into the water and sees another dog with another bone. As soon as he opens his mouth to grab the other dog’s bone, he lost both.

You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties with your fat girlfriends, you want me on that sideline. You need me there.

Unsurprisingly, much of New Moon’s promotional campaign was waged in the tried-and-true fashion we’ve come to expect from today’s cinematic juggernauts. New Moon TV trailers during every commercial break? Check. Official Myspace profile, Facebook page, and Twitter account? Check.

Starbucks has panicked. Enter McDonald’s and Dunkin’ Donuts (cue the Darth Vader theme music). How can low-end, quick-service restaurants (QSR) brands possibly have taken away Starbucks’ mojo? Starbucks allowed both of them to change the conversation from “earthy, relaxed experience” to “speed and convenience.”